why you should read what you love
some personal thoughts on why the books that speak to your soul are best
It’s possible that the books I gravitate towards are ones you actually hate. The books that I love with every fibre of my being, the books that I would sell my soul to read for the first time again. “Why would she even read that?” you might even snicker as you read over my weekly love notes. “Doesn’t she have any taste at all?”
To be honest with you, this doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I know not everyone is going to love the books I read. And at the end of the day it doesn’t matter — because I love the books I read.
When it comes to reading, I’m not so easily persuaded by the opinions of other people. I don’t need validation of my reading habits and I don’t need somebody telling me what to read. That’s not to say I don’t love receiving book recommendations — I love the intimacy of somebody devouring a book and knowing that I’ll love it too. But I never pick up a book just because somebody overzealously states that I should read it. I never read a book I feel pressured to read or because it’s trending on social media or because in the eyes of someone online I’ll be “an actual reader”. I choose to read a book only because I can feel the excitement flaming in my chest as I look over the blurb, the warm happiness spreading until it stretches my lips into a wide, toothy smile. “I want to read that,” my mind sings, giddy with anticipation.
And so I just do. As easy as that.
I’m not a picky reader by any means. I love compelling characters who take my hand and whisk me away — no matter if they’re unreliable narrators or warrior-like heroines or messy main characters whose lives are in shambles. I love contemporary fantasy stories where magic is grounded in our reality and dark fantasy stories with sweeping worlds, haunting creatures and dangerous love interests. I love weird literary fiction that makes my skin crawl and small town romances that make my heart sing with pleasure. I love modern retellings and faithful old classics. I love books about places I’ve never been to and cultures I’ve never experienced. I love books that capture all different kinds of love and dynamics. I love enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, found family.
I love to read just about anything.
But the books I really don’t like to read are the ones that I feel pressured to read. I’m a people-pleaser at heart, so perhaps this is my chosen way of being defiant. Am I only just reaching my rebellious phase as I creep closer to my thirties? I’m not sure. There’s a good chance, I guess. I just know that any book I’m pushed into reading is not one that I particularly grow to love.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot because so many of the online book communities lately feel like spaces where it’s less about the love of reading and more about what you’re actually reading.
Don’t get me wrong, I do love spending time in these online communities — they are how I have found so many incredible book recommendations and new authors to grow my reading habits. I’ve been challenged to broaden what I like to read. I’ve been taught how to discover books from marginalised authors who don’t have the same opportunities in publishing to have their books noticed. I’ve even learned how to fall deeper in love with reading. But unfortunately there’s also a lot of book policing in these communities. Some people seem to think they have the right to tell you what you can and can’t read, that it’s okay for them to slide into your direct messages or comment sections and tell you that your reading choices are wrong. Like there’s only one right way to read.
Also with so many overlapping voices, often with good intentions I don’t doubt, these online communities become spaces with so many conflicting opinions that it’s downright impossible to please everyone. It’s stressful. A particular group of people think you should be reading more of this and another group of people think you should be reading more of that. Every time you open a social media app or review site another book is being called ‘stupid’ and ‘not worth the read’. If you like this author, you’re going to love this one even more. If you don’t like this particular bestseller then what are you even doing with your life. You should read more classics to be well-read, you should read more contemporaries to keep up-to-date. The list goes on and on and on. But not everyone can read 100+ books in a year, or afford to for that matter — so you’re always going to disappoint someone by not reading books they think you should be reading. And for some people out there in the world wide inter-webs, doing your best just doesn’t seem good enough in these communities anymore.
(I just want to point out that I’m not talking about books being called out for containing homophobia, transphobia, sexism, racism or other harmful themes and messages. It’s important that books with these prejudices are continuously highlighted, especially so people who want to avoid reading about these subjects don’t accidentally reach for these books. To be honest, I’m not as active in these online communities as I was a few years ago, I only pop my head in occasionally, so I don’t always see when something is mentioned. But when I do I am eternally grateful. With so many books in the world to become consumed by, I also don’t want to choose a book that doesn’t align with my personal values. And I don’t want to support an author who spreads hate.)
There’s another side to this too. Inevitably being a member of any online book community begins to influence the way you’re reading. For good and for worse. For example, there was a point probably 7-8 years ago where I was so active in the book community on Twitter that I was only reaching for young adult fantasy books. It felt like there was this unspoken rule that to be part of this community I needed to only read what was trending in this specific genre. It sometimes felt like if I wasn’t reading the newest young adult fantasy book then surely, in the eyes of this community anyway, I wasn’t a real reader. I was some kind of bookish fraud, a page-turning imposter.
Similarly when I decided to first change up my reading habits last year, I started to read more literary fiction and turned my attention to other bookish influencers like Dakota Warren for suggestions. She’s probably my favourite reader to get recommendations from, as her tastes are more obscure and I know that I’m bound to find something different to read that challenges me as a reader and human being. But in the beginning I allowed myself to be so easily influenced by her suggestions that I wanted to read just like her. It didn’t matter if the book didn’t speak to my soul. But because our tastes don’t always align — because, surprise surprise, we’re our own individual beings with different minds — reading like her wasn’t sustainable for me.
It’s so easy to become so absorbed in these communities that you want to emulate others in them. You want to read just like everyone else to feel like you belong. And I think that’s pretty normal. But sometimes, in the process, you forget you first became a reader because you found books and stories that you loved. That you had likes and dislikes that weren’t dependent on anyone else. It’s easy to lose that.
I’m somebody that has read books her entire life. And I’ve learned over that time that it’s important to read what you love and ignore the voices that tell you otherwise. You don’t have to read classics if you don’t enjoy them. You don’t have to read “real fiction” (whatever that means) if you love reading fantasy. You don’t have to read non-fiction. You don’t have to read poetry. You don’t have read across every genre or stick purely to one. You don’t have to read adult fiction if you find pleasure in reading young adult. You don’t have to read books you have zero interest in. There aren’t any rules to being a reader. All you simply have to do is read.
I think it’s great that there’s so much encouragement to diversify our reading habits and challenge ourselves to read books outside our comfort zones. It’s how we grow as readers. It’s how we learn about the world and cultivate empathy for others. But that doesn’t mean you have to read books that don’t make your heart happy. You can still read diversely and outside your comfort zone and love what you’re reading. You just need to listen to book recommendations that come your way. But if the book doesn’t make you feel excited or it doesn’t interest you, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a reader. Find something else that intrigues you. There’s millions of books out there.
After years of reading to please other people, to feel like I belong, I now just want to read a book that speaks to my soul. It could be about anything or anyone. I just want to consume good stories and I want good stories to consume me.
And to further convince you, let’s take a super quick look at three benefits of reading books you love:
1. It fosters your love of reading. It’s simple: to continue to read, you must love what you read. Reading something you think you should read makes it feel like a never-ending chore. And when something feels difficult or boring, we tend to find every excuse under the sun to not resume it. There’s no better feeling than picking up a book you’re excited about and falling in love with the story, the characters, the world. It makes me so happy to read something that makes my heart sing. If you want to fall in love with books and reading, you need to read the books that you love.
2. And, carrying on from the previous point, it will make you read more. When we read things we don’t enjoy, it doesn’t entice us to continue reading. How many times have you tried to force yourself to read something and it’s just sat on your bedside table, untouched, until you finally concede that it’s not for you? I’ve found that I consume more books than I ever did because I’m following my own interests, trusting my own tastes and only reading what I genuinely love.
3. It will reduces stress and promote relaxation. I feel the most at ease when I’m lost within the pages of a book. I love being entirely consumed by stories and finding solace in the arms of compelling characters. And because this is something I love and enjoy, nothing is more relaxing than sitting down with my afternoon coffee and devouring a book. My nervous system calms down completely and I feel happier. Tell me, if you’re not enjoying the book you’re reading then how are you going to relax? I know when I’m reading a book that I don’t particularly love all I’m thinking is “how much longer is this thing?” And I don’t feel relaxed at all.
In the end, my fellow reader, just read what you love and read it passionately. Consume it, devour it. Learn to be okay with the fact that not everyone is going to love what you read and that you’re not going to love what everyone else reads. Remember that as human beings we are multifaceted and complicated and all so beautifully different. Our reading tastes are as individual as our fingerprints but that’s what makes sharing our love of books in these spaces so interesting.
And finally just remember, as you sit quietly and read your book today, this act is intimate. It’s precious time you have with yourself. It’s self-care. You wouldn’t spend time with somebody that makes you miserable, so make sure your books are making you happy too.
What books do you love to read? Do you sometimes feel pressured to read books that don’t interest you?
Until next time,
- Madeline
I love to read phycology books. However, when I was younger, I read a lot of fiction. Harry Potter was and still is my favorite, and I loved and still love the Land of Stories series. There is this particular fiction book that I like; it's called The Pain Merchants by Janice Hardy, and I think you should read it. It's a very unique story.
I loved this essay! We should all definitely read what we love. Also, it is possible to love what we want to read; it just requires a bit of effort. The human mind can do anything!
A great reminder! 🤍